Managing Relationships with CKD: Learning to Be Open About My Health

Chronic kidney disease (CKD) used to be something I kept very private. I was ashamed of what I was dealing with. I did not want people to treat me differently or think I was not normal.

I was born with CKD, so I grew up managing my condition from a young age. Over time, I began tying my self-worth to my disease. My close friends knew what I was going through, but meeting new people was different. My health was never something I wanted to bring up.

When you are young, all you want is to fit in. You do not want to be the person with the health problems. You want to feel like everyone else.

The moment I started opening up

Things began to change when I moved to Australia at age 23. My kidney function was declining, and I was on the brink of dialysis. I was in a new country without my usual support network, and I was struggling.

I realized I needed to talk about what I was going through. Keeping everything to myself was becoming difficult.

When I first met my partner 4 years ago, we were at the airport getting to know each other. I told him about my CKD there and then, almost as if it were nothing.

It felt incredible. I remember thinking, "He knows about my health. Now it is up to him if he wants to date me."

For the first time, I felt like I could be completely myself from the beginning. I did not have to hide a huge part of my life or worry about when I would have to explain it. That experience changed how I approach relationships today.

Making CKD part of the conversation

Now, I talk about my kidney transplant and my health in everyday conversation. I do not treat it like an awkward secret that people need to be careful around.

That does not mean I share everything with everyone. It means I am no longer ashamed of something that has always been part of my life.

Over time, I have become an advocate for people living with CKD. I have spoken at international conferences, shared my journey on social media, and used my experiences to educate and support others. Something I once hid has become something I am proud to talk about.

My advice for relationships and dating

My honest advice is to be open about what you are going through, whenever and however much you feel comfortable sharing.

You do not owe everyone your medical history, and you can choose when you are ready to talk. But you also do not have to carry the emotional weight of CKD alone.

Find friends, family members, or a partner who will listen when you need to talk about your health, even when you need to talk about it repeatedly. You deserve relationships where you can be honest about the difficult days, the uncertainty, and the fear, without feeling like a burden.

Not everyone will understand, and not everyone will stay. But the people who make room for all parts of you are worth holding onto.

CKD is part of my story, but it is not all of who I am. I no longer want to hide a part of myself just to make other people comfortable.