Dealing With Denial of Having Chronic Kidney Disease 

My husband and I are in denial that I have CKD. We haven’t acknowledged it at all or that something has taken place. I am acting as though I don’t actually have chronic kidney disease. In my mind, I think things will get better with time and they will.

I think I am using denial to shield myself from discomfort, distress, or suffering. There’s an old saying – fake it, till you make it. Right now, we both appear composed, unconcerned, and even indifferent to our health status. I guess this is what living in denial is.

Why do we live in denial, sometimes?

I got my first chronic illness at 5 years old. I am now 65. I believe I have to strive to cope when unpleasant things happen to me. I believe that most of us make choices that can aid us in our ability to cope with or accept what has occurred.

We do, however, occasionally deny anything has happened when the trauma is extreme and threatens to consume us. I hope someone understands what I’m trying to say here. When we have several chronic conditions, even though it only happens in rare circumstances, we will be in denial. I know for myself I am unwilling to acknowledge my condition or even unwilling to admit that it is serious. I have even said to myself do I really need the prescribed drugs that are being given to me?

There can be causes of denial. Any situation that puts you in a state of vulnerability or undermines your sense of control may cause you to engage in denial. There are days I am fearful of losing myself or fearful of the lifestyle change brought on by my treatments. Please understand this, you are momentarily protecting yourself from something that is upsetting or difficult to think about by engaging in denial. I try to go easy on myself.

Denial can be a coping mechanism

Denial occasionally serves as a useful coping mechanism to help me deal with bad news. The information about our CKD or any chronic illness and the way our lives might change as it progresses may take us a few days, or even a few months, to digest.

You and your loved ones might start to take in the truth and handle it more logically as time passes. Denial, however, can paralyze a person if it persists for an extended period of time, particularly when you have a health condition like CKD and are in need of medical attention.

Denial becomes a pressing issue if you continue to live in denial for more than a few months, and distance yourself from those who want to discuss your condition. The following might could be suggested if some time has passed, and you feel like you remain trapped in denial:

• Inquire about your worries around the discovery of your kidney disease. Talk to your healthcare team. With your nephrologist, nurse, social worker, or spiritual advisor with your care partner.
• Try confiding in a reliable friend or joining a support group.
• Educating yourself on CKD and the various available treatments can help a great deal.

Over the years, I have developed several chronic illnesses. Denial is a common response to difficult circumstances. For me, denial is my strategy to delay facing the truth until I am ready. Speak with your nephrologist or social worker if your denial continues. You might also request a recommendation for a therapist.

Always remember, our quality of life depends on having an upbeat outlook on life. Don’t push yourself too hard. Go easy on yourself and try building positive beliefs around your current circumstances. We are all in this together.