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Hi, I am new to your board because my father has been battling kidney problems since 1999. He has been stable at 15 for at least 15 years. He is 90 years old and recently had a heart valve replaced in June. His kidney # went to 19 and now back to 16. His doctor wants to prep him for dialysis "just in case". I am not living in the same town and my SIL is taking him to his appointments. They said they could wait until he gets to 10 before starting dialysis. He has the beginning of dementia and he told the doctor he wants to go ahead with it because his doctor told him he either does this or goes into hospice. Really? I have so many questions and I can't get answers because my SIL doesn't ask any. First, does anyone really recommend a 90 year old to go through this? Doctor said okay because he did so well with the heart valve but I think this will just make him go into depression as now he can make his own meals, lives by himself, enjoys going out to dinner with my brother. We just spent 2 days there and had a wonderful conversation and he got around fine. What are the side effects that he could possibly have at his age?

I'm sorry this is so long, but I don't know anyone I can ask.

Thank you! Kim

  1. Hi Welcome and I am so glad you reached out. This must be so difficult for you to not be able to go to his appointments with him. Are you close enough that you could try to go to his next appointment with him? If not, I wonder if his doctor offers tele-health appointments that you could attend so that you could get your important questions answered. While each situation is different based on the individual, I am sending over this article that lists the potential side effects: https://chronic-kidney-disease.net/dialysis. Also depending on his situation, there is home or clinic dialysis, here is more information: https://chronic-kidney-disease.net/clinical/home-clinic-dialysis. I really hope you can attend the next doctor visit whether in person or tele-health, if not, you could always call the doctor for a consultation. I really hope you can get answers. Please keep us posted. Jill (Team Member)


    1. Thank you so much for answering. He is not eligible for in-home. I'm not able to get to his appointments but I do have some questions that were sent to him by my SIL. Once I get the answers to these questions I asked I'll know a little bit more. I just don't want this doctor to rush into anything since he is new and doesn't know the history of my dad. What is the typical port they use for dialysis? His skin is so thin and he bruises so easily I worry that if he were to bump it it would bleed badly. I appreciate the links you gave me. If I find out any other information, I'll keep you posted.
      Thanks! Kim

      1. I am glad you were able to send your questions to your SIL. I am sure you will feel better once you know more. Typically they use an AV (artery-vein) fistula for hemodialysis. It is preferred because it usually lasts longer and has fewer problems like clotting and infections. Here is an article with further information about this: https://chronic-kidney-disease.net/hemodialysis. Please do keep us posted. Jill (Team Member)

    2. Thank you, Jill. We did get a response back from the doctor's office and they told us to sign up for a class so they could answer our questions. I feel very disappointed and sad that they are so uncaring to our concerns and couldn't even take the time to answer them. They are the largest kidney specialists in his area therefore there is no one else to get a second opinion from. I feel totally deflated.

      1. I can totally understand why you would feel deflated. The response from the doctor's office is unacceptable. Is there another doctor that you could switch your dad to in this facility? Or is there another doctor that is close enough, even if it is not in his direct area that your SIL can drive him to? You and your dad deserve to have the information and choices available so that you can make an informed decision. I really hope you can find another option. Jill (Team Member)

    3. Hi Jill, my SIL has sent another letter into the doctor and asked to speak directly to him. I helped her create a more urgent and precise letter addressing our concerns regarding his age, memory problems and benefits for him. I want to thank you so much for your concern. I have reached out to 2 other message boards for kidney disease and no one ever answer me back, so thank you. I will keep you informed. Kim

      1. hi Kim, I am so glad to hear that you and your SIL did this. It is really nice to hear how both of you are looking after your dad and being his advocate. We are here for you whenever you need! This is a hard journey and we want to make sure you have support. I look forward to hearing from you with what you find out. Jill (Team Member)

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