The Unknown of Waiting

I've been dealing with chronic kidney disease since I was 16 years old and it has been difficult. I went through all of the motions, taking all the right steps, and I've been dealing with many side effects of CKD, from hypertension, high potassium, high sodium, and fluid overload.

Finding something new

Recently, I discovered a lump under my skin and I've been waiting to do ultrasound scans. The doctors are giving me the minimal information, which is really difficult. I knew that having CKD comes with many risks of being diagnosed with other conditions or illnesses. I am beginning to feel all of those emotions I once had when I was first diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, and now, I feel like I’m at square one again.

I believe communication is critical, especially when you are in a round of diagnoses and the feeling of not knowing and the what-ifs of your symptoms. I called my general practitioner's office, not my renal doctor, because it wasn’t renal-related, but I was very transparent with him, telling him I had a lump and a wart. I was worried as my lump was growing in a short amount of time, and asked if I was able to come in. I made an appointment and he examined the lump and booked a scan to examine my soft tissue as he was concerned, but wanted to have scans first.

Of course, this had me worried. Who wouldn’t be? Especially with the lack of communication that our health systems have in the United Kingdom.

Taking charge of your health journey

This is where it’s vital to take charge of your health journey. It might be extra work, but it’s extra peace of mind. Even though we have things that come up, we can always find out how to handle these occurrences and what steps to take with information we have found.

As of now, I’m in the stage of waiting for more information, but knowing that, I have contacted my renal nurses and made them aware of what’s happening and have an appointment with renal doctors to discuss next steps if it’s anything to worry about.

Waiting can be hard

With the unknown of waiting, you do get anxiety, of course, and it can impact your mental state. The fact is that your symptoms could be a sign of something worse or something that ends up being nothing to panic over, but it’s unfortunately a burden on you mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Give yourself the space and set the boundaries to deal with all of your emotions. It’s okay to tell people, that you don't want to talk about it. I tell myself it is what it is.

Of course, I’ve had chronic kidney disease since I was 16. So I have, over the years, struggled and always healed differently as well. But I have healed, and with my new unknown, I will take it on the chin and wait for my answers and deal with it accordingly, whatever the outcome.