The Power of Saying No

No is a one word sentence and should be taken that way. Being diagnosed with lupus and chronic kidney disease at a young age, I was already a people pleaser. I love pleasing people even when it does not benefit me in any way. I would do things that I did not have time for and I would say yes to things that I did not want to do.

Now that I have a autoimmune disease, the people pleasing has become worse because I started to think I needed people more than I actually did. I thought that when I was sick, no one would be around or care to be around me. I felt like I had to say yes or people would not help me at all. That was not the case. Setting boundaries helps more than we think. Just think, you do not want to be going through dialysis, chemotherapy, and other medications and be stressed out about things that do not concern you.

Saying no relieves my stress

The power of saying no can relieve stress - I know it relieves mine. Saying no to something or someone because you're already overloaded with things to do, can help you significantly. It can also let people know that you are not to be walked over, just because you consider yourself a burden (we are not). Imagine you saying no and not worrying about the aftermath because you placed yourself in a situation where you put yourself first, over others.

Start by saying no, period. Try to practice not giving an explanation, because then you are inviting the possibility that others will try to argue with your reasoning, and we don’t want that. Do not say things like, “I wish I could, but I can't" or "if I could I would" or "I'll try, but I cannot make any promises.” By saying these things, you are not setting strict boundaries.

Setting boundaries with others

Just imagine if we could reduce a significant amount of stress and what that could do to our health. Being less stressed can help heal. Setting boundaries is the most significant thing you can do when having a relationship with anyone. It teaches people what lines not to cross and why not to cross them. It also teaches the consequences when they cross those boundaries. Trust me, they will not be afraid to set those boundaries with you as well, as they should.

Do not place yourself in should’ve, could’ve, would’ve situations as well. It can lead to physical pain if you did not want to do these things in the first place. Saying no should be the new normal with people with serious health issues. Suffering with CKD, I learned to say no to family, friends, and doctors. I will no longer be controlled and place things in my life that I do not want to do. I will forever remember that no is a complete sentence and when I say it I mean it. It’s a new form of meditation for me.