Establishing Boundaries

Even though you have those who love you, it is okay to set boundaries to be able to have the space you need while living with health challenges. I used to get good advice and blessings, but then occasionally, I would receive judgmental advice. Some people would invade my personal space and cross some boundaries. If I didn’t let you invade my personal space while I am healthy, please do not think you can do that while I am sick.

We have people that try to give us health advice and have no medical background what so ever, it's very frustrating.

Setting boundaries

Having chronic kidney disease or going through anything that you're going through, cancer, an autoimmune disease, etc., you can set boundaries.

When I went through my first kidney failure, I became more vulnerable than ever before. I used to be very stern and I had a very hard exterior shell. Sometimes when you go through something life changing, it can break you down. Being broken down can make you learn how to set boundaries and sometimes, it can cause you to not be liked.

Let me ask for help

When family comes in and tries to tell your doctor what is going wrong with you while being admitted into the hospital, it can be overwhelming. I would have family that would try to bathe me and clean my room, when I just wanted them to be there and sit with me.

They would try to completely take over everything for me. It was very overwhelming. No matter what I am going through, I don’t want to feel like I am not in control. I will always try to attempt to do things on my own first, and then if needed, accept help. While being in the hospital, the doctors and nurses definitely like that because it shows that I am pushing to survive.

I know people have good intentions...

I know people helping have good intentions and can be all about love, but sometimes, I wish others would let me ask for that help first. Remember, setting boundaries does not make you a bad person. It's important that we protect our peace as well. There are ways to ask people to respect those boundaries without coming off as ungrateful.

My favorite line was, "I know you love me and I appreciate that, but at this time I do not feel comfortable with the demands you are placing on me. I hope that you know I am not trying to be disrespectful, I just need space right now."