Do's and Don'ts When Dating Someone With Chronic Kidney Disease

If you are dating someone who is living with chronic kidney disease, there are a few things that can impact your relationship, but it’s important to know that CKD is just an obstacle you can overcome and manage together.

Do's of dating someone with chronic kidney disease

Educate yourself about CKD

Learn about chronic kidney disease, symptoms, treatment options, and how it affects daily life for your partner. Understanding the condition will help you offer more informed and compassionate support to them.

Help your partner manage their diet

Your partner may have strict dietary restrictions (e.g., low sodium, potassium, and phosphorus). Offer to prepare kidney-friendly meals together or be mindful of their dietary needs when dining out.

Respect the need for rest

Fatigue is a common symptom of CKD for many people. Be understanding when your partner needs extra rest and try to plan activities around their energy levels. With my fatigue coming on unexpectedly at times, there would be times I need to cancel or would want a change of plans. Offer empathy for your partner in these times.

Be mindful of fluid restrictions

When I was on dialysis, there was a limit of fluid intake. You can help them track their intake by being aware of this during meals and activities where drinking water might seem casual. It might sound like a lot of work, but it definitely can make a difference.

Encourage open communication

Dealing with kidney failure can be hard, it's important to encourage your partner to talk about their feelings and struggles related to their health, but also about other aspects of life. Good communication will keep your relationship strong and reduce stress. Emotional support and positivity go a long way in helping someone cope with a chronic illness.

Help with medication reminders

People with CKD often need to take multiple medications at specific times. Helping them keep track of their medication schedule can be a thoughtful way to support them.

Don'ts of dating someone with chronic kidney disease

Don't dismiss or minimize your partner's symptoms

Avoid saying things like, "it can’t be that bad" or "you’re just tired." Chronic kidney disease has put me in situations that have caused significant fatigue, pain, and other symptoms that aren’t always visible.

Don't make everything about their condition

While it’s important to be aware of their health, making every conversation or decision revolving around my illness can cause more issues. By having a balanced relationship with topics and activities to CKD is important to us, as we want to be seen more than our conditions.

Don’t take frustration personally

Living with a chronic condition can be frustrating. If your partner gets irritable or upset, try to avoid taking it personally. Sometimes they may be reacting to the situation, not to you and it’s good to be aware that my mood changes have been very different from how i am generally, so my change of mood is obvious.

Don’t give unsolicited medical advice

I can’t tell you how many times I have received medical advice that is not by a healthcare professional, in a relationship it’s best to be aware that only healthcare professionals with experience in CKD, don’t try to offer medical solutions or advice as everyone’s health journey is different, and it’s best to leave medical guidance to their doctors.

Don’t assume you know how they feel

Even if you’ve known someone else with CKD, don’t assume your partner’s experience is the same. Ask them how they’re feeling and be open to their perspective.

I hope this article can bring you more insight from my experience and I wish you a blessed health journey.