Bounce Back and Celebrate Your Victories

Living this life with a chronic illness has taught me that I am far stronger than I give myself credit for. I have acquired the practice of showing great self-care and love to myself. I need and deserve such love which I should be able to give myself without needing it from others. I’ve gone through seasons to where everything in my life felt aligned and all was great.

But one day, it was a different story because my body was attacking itself. This very frequently caused me a great deal of depression which I would isolate myself to dwell in my situation. Never knowing what the day might bring, I definitely expected the worst. It was my own way of protecting myself from disappointment. If you would ask me today, my mindset is completely different. But during this time, my life felt like a real yo-yo. Constantly going back and forth from two different extremes. I can proudly say even though I have gone through a lot, being chronically ill has tested my level of buoyancy.

What is buoyancy?

According to Webster dictionary it is:

1. The tendency of a body to float or to rise when submerged in a fluid.
2. The ability to recover quickly from depression or discouragement.

I love these two definitions. While the first one can be used to describe two different situations, there is one thing unwritten in the explanation: the unknown pressure something is under. This is not something listed in the fine print at all. But if you dissect this definition and apply it to your life, you'll begin to see how fitting it is. If you cannot swim and are in a body of water, there are only two things you can do. Float or sink. The body has the ability to float naturally because we are buoyant. When you apply this to your life, the question then becomes will you survive this? Will you overcome this? We have the tools but will we use them? We have the strength from getting through past battles. Will we put it to work?

I’ve been in some of the darkest times of my life thinking I’d never get through it. But here I am. My buoyancy didn’t fail me. I bounced back to the better version of myself.

Wanting to give up

The second definition takes no time to get to the point when it comes down to our natural human emotions. When I was told two days before planned surgery that I would not receive the scheduled kidney transplant, the words depression and discouragement doesn’t seem to cover all that I felt. At that moment, I convinced myself it was never going to happen.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was tired of depending on a machine to live. At that moment, I wanted to give up. I didn't want to be hooked up to a machine again for another day. I grieved the opportunity of the chance of a new kidney but quickly restored my faith and outlook. When I bounced back from that dark moment, I knew without a doubt very little could have the power to affect me in such a way that would bring me low ever again.

But I bounced back

Celebrate every single time you bounce back. Celebrate every single time situations that should have destroyed you, that your buoyancy wouldn’t allow it. The days you feel well enough to be social with your friends, that’s huge and should be celebrated. The day you no longer needed lifesaving medication or surgery.

Be proud of what you've overcome. You are stronger than you give yourself credit and I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished and that you are here.